Monday, January 23, 2012

Friday, Dec. 30 2011

Macy Grace.

The date above marks a special one for you and I want to record it for you before I forget the details. Your dad and I have never really wanted to put an emphasis on the idea of 'becoming a Christian' or that praying some magic prayer one time makes you one. Being a follower of Jesus is so much more than one decision you make when you're only a few years old. BELIEVING in God, Who He is, What He says about himself, you and the way this world works, is a LIFETIME journey of faith that I pray God deepens in you over years and years and years. It will involve millions of tiny steps of faith as your capacity to learn, grasp, trust and act, grows. You've actually already taken quite a few and your dad and I have watched you genuinely believe that God loves you, genuinely believe His truth that His ways are good, and that He wants you to love others before yourself. We've watched you understand His forgiveness and want it. In your tiny person way, to the utmost of your ability at this very young age, you already want His ways and His help. So we didn't feel any need to compartmentalize your journey and relationship with God into a recordable decision.

But on Friday, December 30th, 2011 when you were seven years old and lying tucked in to your pink polka dot bed, something really special took place in your little heart. You were reading your 'big kid' REAL bible that we gave you about 6 months ago, like you do every single night, with out fail no matter what. (you are ADAMANT about it, I dont know where you got that but it is NOT optional to you and you cry if we try to suggest going straight to sleep when it's been a longer night for whatever reason. It really is baffling to us, you NEVER forget.) I came in to tuck you in and convince you to turn out the lights for the night and you were full of questions. You'd been reading the story about the Israelite people and how they had to put the blood of the lamb over their doorways to show that they believed in God and wanted Him to save them from the plague of death that was coming that night. You'd think that'd be a confusing and maybe even scary story for a little girl but you were very matter of fact. "Mom, how come that made a difference?" "Why did the sacrifice of a lamb rescue them?"

We went through a number of these questions and then asked the ones at the end of that section of your bible. "Where else in God's story do you see Him rescuing people who believe in Him, once and for all?" You were confused at first and I said, "Is there another time in the bible that you remember there being a great rescue?" "When Jesus died on the cross" you said, "Oh! like Jesus dying was like them putting the blood over their doors, it says we believe in Him, we're part of His people and we want Him to save us?"

You are pretty darn articulate for a 7 yr old :)

"Yes!" I said "that's right!" We talked a little more and for some reason you got increasingly agitated. You kept huffing and acting weird and finally said, "Mom, I just.. I just, I dont know! I just don't know if I have what it takes." I giggled a little to myself at your drama and asked you to clarify. "Like what it takes to believe," you said, "Like I THINK I believe but how do I know?" you said and you started to cry.

I couldn't tell what line you were walking. Sometimes these questions are serious, sometimes they are you playing out some adult like conversations and drama in your head." Either way it felt real to you right then so I did what you and I do alot now. I drew you back to truth. "Mace, let's not let our feelings trick us right now, let's look at what we know."

We read "But if you confess with your mouth, and believe in your heart, Jesus is Lord, You will be saved."

In over emphasized simplicity, I smiled at you. "Macy. Do you want Jesus to be the Lord of your life? The One in charge? Do you believe He is the Son of God who can forgive you when you make mistakes so that you and God get to be friends forever?"

Giggling a little bit. "Yes"

For added silliness. "Have you said that out loud? Do you want to say it out loud now?"

Real giggling now. "Jesus is my LORD!"

Pointing to the bible verse. "Then what can we KNOW for sure?"

Big Smile. "That I'm saved?"

That's right! You are friends with God, you are forgiven and saved. Forever. You will have lots and lots of opportunities where you will have to choose between your way and God's way. Whether or not you are going to believe things God says are true about Himself and this world. And that will help your friendship with God grow stronger and your belief in Him will too. But that's about growing up with God and it will happen over time. God says even the tiniest little bit of belief in Him is enough to start your friendship, and you already have that. You don't ever have to worry that you don't have enough.

I'm not sure exactly how all the rest of our conversation went, honestly it was a bit of a blur. But it was awesome. And then your dad came in and we told him what we'd been talking about. And then we all prayed together and you prayed out loud asking Jesus again, to be in charge of your life.

Gosh I love you sweet Macy Grace. You are a very very special (not so little anymore) girl.

Congratulations on another little step in your journey with Jesus :)