Sparkle

I just got home from a bridal shower. It was for a girl that I had the pleasure of kind of 'big sistering' through her high school and some college years and it was neat to sit back and watch her as she embraced her new role as 'bride' and soon to be 'wife'.
It's funny to me that this particular night and this particular shower seems to have really drawn some deep waters up in me. I have been around alot of soon to be brides and showers etc in the past five years since it was my turn at the magical merry go round of presents and plans and smiles and bliss and dreams and optomism. My sister in law is even engaged and wedding planning as we speak. But being here tonight affected me deeply and I don't really know why.
The shower was 'Kitchen' themed and to go with it we each brought one food recipe and one 'Recipe for Life' sharing advice for the couple about marriage. Whew. Since my relationship with this girl has pretty much centered around advice and imparting wisdom and 'going before' her in this life to then look back and offer a hand up... I really wanted to offer some encouraging, thrilling, fool proof nuggets for her to keep and cling to. But as I sat and thought I knew, just knew that everything and anything I could possibly truthfully offer her of what I've found to be true of marriage and actually practically helpful 5 years in, she at this moment, sitting in that chair with her beaming smile and giggly tapping toes, will not think she needs or already think she knows it. I know because I did too. I actually don't remember a ton of 'advice' people handed to me when I was engaged, probably for that very reason that at the time I was receiving it I did not view it as advice but rather 'obvious' information that my fiance and I had already discussed, dealt with and perfected. We were good to go and I was too busy telling everybody how incredibly amazing we worked together to hear much of anything else.
So tonight, as I listened to the stories and watched her eyes sparkle in anticipation of all that was to come for her and her love, I felt so many heart heavy emotions bubbling up. I didn't really feel the need to warn her of all the practicalities and realities that come with the hum drum of everyday life, instead I kind of felt like grabbing some of that sparkle from her eyes (don't worry, she had plently to share) and putting it back into my tired ones. And as I watched her nod in somber agreement at the marriage advice she won't remember, I actually tuned in for myself. Cuz 5 years in; I have to be wise enough to admit the sparkle dust has settled a little around my eyes and it's made me see that some of these women who've been married 20,25,30,50 years... they got some stories to tell and some wisdom to drink in.
Maybe we should all have 5 yr anniversary bridal showers... they might be a whole lot more affective.