Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Precious community

I am a GAG girl. The name GAG stands for Girls Accountability Group and it was created by silly boys in college to tease us, but it stuck before anyone had a chance to change it. Now, almost 9 years post 'GAG branding'; I am returning from an amazing reunion weekend and am simply overwhelmed by the lessons God has taught me through these girls.

Let me start by telling you that being with them, is like being with comfort itself. When I'm with them, I become such a fuller version of myself, each one of the 10 bring a different aspect of me up and out of hibernation. I find renewed passion, challenge, joy and conviction packaged neatly with total rest and acceptance. Seriously, it's like snuggling in a pile of freshly cleaned laundry, still warm.

And I bring all of this up because these girls, they have taught me what I believe to be one of the most significant practices of my life. Vulnerability. Honesty. Intentional sharing of your truest heart and self. Until college and these girls I remained safely in the facade of my life, and the funny thing is I didn't even know it! But over the years the Lord took this group of young women and He slowly molded, tore away, replaced and pushed us in the direction of intimacy with eachother and miraculously we found ourselves willing to risk and go for it! I don't think any of us knew what God was doing in and amongst us until we were already neck deep in eachother's lives. By then, it was too late to try denying how incredibly refreshing real community is, no matter how much work and intentionality it took.

There is a song by Jennifer Knapp that has always tugged deep at my heartstrings. It's called Martyrs and Theives. In the song J. Knapp speaks of how,
"In the absence of martyrs there's a presence of theives that only want to rob you blind. They steal away any sense of peace, though I'm a king I'm a king on my knees. And I know they are wrong when they say I am strong, as the darkness covers me. So turn on the light and reveal all the glory, I am not afraid, to bare all my weakness, knowing in meekness, I have a kingdom to gain."
These words are so incredibly powerful to me and I feel so deeply passionate about the truth behind them. In the absence of people willing to bare all, to look stupid, to risk vulnerability with the chance that no one will follow... there is this false sense of peace that can render an entire group of friendships totally blind. Even our Bible studies, church groups, best friends and accountability groups can become an absolute sham as we all pretend to be 'kings' and impress eachother with our minor issues and struggles...the ones we've measured and feel are safe enough to share. Too often the very groups designed to create community amongst churches become to the tools keeping us at a distance from eachother as we 'yes' eachother to death, afraid to challenege, speak up, admit or correct.... and so we end up in darkness thinking everyone around us is so strong, and feeling desperate to maintain our own image we've so carefully constructed.

Even though I have not lived by or with these girls now for 5 years and our connection time has been significantly lessened, there is a lump lodged so far down in the core of me now that 'taints' every new friendship I've come across since. It screams in conviction to 'turn on the light that actually lets people into my life -let God's glory be the only thing revealed - bare all of my weaknesses', because I do know, there is such a kingdom to gain. Truly, being with the GAG girls this weekend, was a tiny glimpse of Heaven.

Love you girls.

1 comment:

The McCarty's said...

Amen to those thoughts. It is so amazing to me how the common thread of growth in Christ can bond us together with so much time apart and how trials can make us closer still. May we continue to strive for deeper community in our lives!